This is literally my exact story and I felt like I was the only one. I wish more Doctors and mothers for that matter would understand that not all abies or woman can breastfeed. More expecting mamas need to hear these stories and to be prepared for the possibility of problems! I had the same exact thing happen to me. So much (ALL) of the breastfeeding literature suggests that if you just keep feeding on demand eventually your supply will increase and you will be able to breastfeed exclusively if you follow X steps. I am so glad you wrote this I had a similar journey with my first born. I saw about 4 different LC and at most could pump not even an oz. She had lost more than 10% of her birth weight and was frantic, so we were instructed on how to use formula. This is my story almost exactly. Are mothers supposed to love breastfeeding 24 hours a day? You are fortunate to have a very wise and caring mother, Thank you for this. My daughter however, latched on to the breast in an instant; woke five times a night until she was nine months old; would never eat the veges; opting only for sweet things (yoghurt, banana etc.) Its useful to evaluate moms 24 hour pumping output at 10 days. He got my colostrum and my breast milk for the first two weeks and after that, hes mostly had formula. I then dealt with clogged ducts and spent all day pumping and nursing baby every 2 hours, always pumping directly after a feed. And I was to be doing this every 2 hours?? If I could tell myself back then these next 5 sentences, I would have had sanity: No, hes not just colicky. I wasnt to keen on having strangers grabbing my breast and forcing my new babies tiny head onto my breast anymore so decided Id just try it on my own when I got home. Prematures and infants with medical problems, Initiation and frequency of pumping and milk production in mothers of non-nursing preterm infants, Effect of domperidone on milk production in mothers of premature newborns: a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial, Effects of pumping style on milk production in mothers of non-nursing preterm infants, Comparison of skin-to-skin contact with standard contact in low-birth-weight infants who are breast-fed, Current knowledge about skin-to-skin (kangaroo) care for preterm infants, Breastfeeding your newborn what to expect in the early weeks, COVID-19: Mental Health, Anxiety, and Social Stresses. I tried so hard to exclusively nurse him. Nursing or bottle, cloth or disposable, daycare or raising your own, co-sleeping or cry it out, thrift stores/hand-me-downs or designer baby, carseat shaming, competitive my baby wrote his PhD dissertation at 6 months! Wow, your baby was already 6 months before he finished? Extra sleep once in a while actually would help my supply! The hospital trauma I went through meant my milk never came in. Thank you so much for this! Last night we put baby to bed at 9pm. Rest your heart in knowing youve done amazingly! You have a beautiful baby boy, trust yourself! I then give a bottle around 3 when he wakes. If it doesnt work, use formula and a bottle. Fed IS best!!! Formula has liberated me and my breasts. I do not understand the way things are today with the breastfeeding pressure. Thank you for writing this. By my third baby, I thought I had it right. I contacted the lactation consultants, Le Lache League, seasoned nursing moms, etc. I see now that I really didnt need to do that. Finally early one Sunday morning (after an hour of me crying on the phone to my sister who was half a world away NZ / England), my husband went to the Urgent Pharmacy; bought the formula and we never looked back. He was happy,sleeping and just breastfeeding!!! Gave birth. Even then one of my other halfs friends asked are you breast feeding and when I said no, he made a comment about how mothers milk is best. When he first started losing weight my mother-in-law said to me that my child was hungry. Thanks for sharing your story, but it make me sad that it is such a common one. Poor baby was starving! He eats every 2 hrs usually through the day. His Dr kept saying that maybe he is just a small kid. Following my instincts, I gave her formula anyway and watching her guzzle the formula down broke my heart. As a mom myself I totally get where youre coming from. I tried so hard to breastfeed until my mom pointed out that I was starving my baby. I had all this emotions of guilt and being bad mom as well as been depressed. At the time I was also told to cut out dairy, tomatoes and other acidic fruits and veg because she cried all the time. I have since had a second baby, whom I attempted to breastfeed, but very quickly stopped trying and switched right to a bottle!! You are doing such a good job by putting your story out there. I haven't been the past 3 days because we have had a very busy week and I also haven't felt the greatest. That was where my husband found us and when he said enough. I was also, sleep deprived, anxious, and emotionally exhausted. Honestly, if we have a third I may not nurse at all. I woke my husband up and cried to him I couldnt do it any more. I felt like a failure, not carrying to term (because of my body), having a c-section and now not feeding. I went through a similar experience. That night my son slept for 6hours straight. Three months of sleeping upright in a recliner so he wouldnt scream, three months of soaked linens and pjs because of my milk letting loose when he cried, three months of multiple visits per week by the health nurse, three months of guilt of not knowing what my baby neededall traded on the first 6 oz bottle and 8 straight hours of him sleeping through the night ( I woke up every few hours thinking the worstmy god Mothers daught died from SIDS). Thank you for sharing this. Thats a lot of milk! Shes thriving and has put on weight and is a healthy Bubba. Many doctors these days dont even have a clue what they are. No body was brave enough to tell me to quit trying no matter who I talked to. In the end, I found that formula feeding was best for our family. I had the same problem!!! Its not a bad thing to ask for help. This sad story sounds almost exactly what I went through with my first born Courtney. Thanks for having the courage to share your story. I breast fed for three weeks and then got a stomach virus for 5 days that wore me out. I wish there were people in the medical field and in mommy circles tell those who are fighting and not getting any results, that it is ok. Finally, I got to a point where I was emotionally and physically drained and said enough was enough and switched him to full formula and solids at 7 months. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. I began supplementing with formula in the second week, after calling the pediatrician at 5 am after being up with the baby all night trying to nurse. We ended up nursing 19 months. With my second, there was a whole different set of challenges and I nursed her for an even shorter period than my son. (Mine is too ?). I know I tried my best but felt like a failure. At one point I was basically feeding ebm because of the failure to latch was causing me so much stress and at 6 weeks I was shaming myself and ready to switch to formula. I wish i did not need to pump. No. Great article. I too struggled with nursing. I tried EVERYTHING malt, mothers milk, oatmeal, pumping, etc. She is now 4 and healthy as she can be. His doctor recommended switching to formula then. The one LC came for a recheck and basically told me I wasnt producing any milk and that I had tried 100x harder than most mothers. I did this 2-3 day in a row while on vacation with my fiance. Thanks for sharing your story! You are always enough! I did feel guilt but I also know I tried so hard. I fell into the rare category of those women with low supply. Thank you for this article. You absolutely did the right thing for you and your baby, and that makes you a VERY GOOD MAMA!! She was admitted to the hospital for a week and put on special formula to gain weight. Anytime you miss a feed, you need to pump to replace it, especially this early. For every mom here who wants shame-free support, please join the Fed is Best Parent Support Group on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheFedisBestSupportGroup/. Still, not an easy journey for a new mom so I empathize! My baby usually wakes up around 7 to eat and again at 10. I, too, share a similar story. With my next 2 I supplemented from day 1. I finally asked our family doctor what to do at her first follow up. love- a mom who has been there and had to make the same hard but necessary decision. Fed really is best. Even I felt like a failure switching my babies to formula @ 10 months. I have a very similar story of everyone reassuring me things were fine until we were on the verge of hospitalizing a dehydrated starving baby! I started supplementing at 1 month and pumped till he was 6m old. It is a lot less work to scoop up LO that way for feeds at the breast. Anyone pushing their ideas on any new mom is a bad thing. I know that the home health nurse that visited our home just days after the birth of my oldest made a huge difference. I tried to express my colostrum but there was only a dot. I finally took my son off the breast, and started pumping and giving him breast milk in a bottle just so I could see how much he was getting. I too felt that I needed to breastfeed bc breast is best. Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you for sharing your story. No kidding! I would feed at 9, put baby to bed, pump around 9:15 pm and then give baby 1 or 2 bottles (usually at 2 or 3 am and the 5 or 6 am) and then pump after the 5 or 6 am feed. He was happy and meeting milestones and had wet and dirty nappies. My baby is now 10 months oldand the problem is not solved completely. I breastfed what I could and then topped him up with formula until he was 7 months. This was my story too in but in 1974. I would agree it's probably not a great idea, but I would add that it depends on your supply. But after my milk came my daughter couldnt latch and so on her 5th day of life I gave her a small bottle of formula.and she was finally full! Can i cope up the loss? I think its primarily because in the US mums go back to work earlier so are quickly having to pump up a stash to feed when they return and then pump at work. , I just wanted to say THANK YOU for writing this As I read this, I cried the whole time because this is also my story Every bit of it Its almost like I wrote this myself. I had the same thing happen, my milk never came in my son weighed the same at his one month checkup as he did at birth. By baby #4 I gave in and I went to bottles after 2 weeks, she was my easiest baby. Thank you for this! In the end, I formula fed, as the third time it happened where I had a baby at my breast, and it became obvious that my baby was panicking due to starvation, I told my husband I wasnt going to have my baby suffer because I couldnt make more milk. I didnt feel like my husband understood the toll it took on my mental health. I am extremely proud of you! And my husband came in and i was crying baby was crying. I'm in France and I bought a pump, but I barely used it and none of my friends who breastfed own one. The 1 month picture reminded me of my first child when he was that age. Oh my gosh. My second child was EXACTLY your situation! We switched the formula, and suddenly my cranky baby was happy and sleeping through the night. My aunt told me her story of when her first son was born, mid 1970s, and she tried and tried to breast feed but her son was not interested, she went home from the hospital with her son and my Nana (her husband) out playing golf, and my cousin just cried and cried and my aunt felt defeated. The midwife who came to see him at my home was even blaming the scales at the hospital saying that they must be wrong because he had lost too much weight. Fortunately for me my pediatrician was very supportive. Hes 65 now with a size 15 shoe! I pumped 12oz when I normally get 6-8. Thank you for writing this and may your sweet baby continue to thrive! He is now a fully formula fed baby, eating well, growing a double chin, sleeping well and developing perfectly! After birth he struggled to breastfeed. Your campaign is wonderful Fed IS best! That was hard and my milk supply is still minimal, but my baby is eating and gaining weight. I was supplementing with a formula for preemies and then the formula became more exclusive, I have struggled to get my milk supply to come in fully. On the other hand it was like a weight was lifted. My milk wasnt fat enough for my baby to gain weight. Thank you for this. If baby is not nursing, seriously consider renting a hospital-grade pump (a multiple-user double pump suchas those made by Ameda, Hygeia or Medela) that will allow you to pump both breasts at the same time. Nothing helped until she switched to the bottle and formula and it got better from there. She advocated for universal hospital reporting and informed consent of breastfeeding complications in order to protect infants from the dangers of underfeeding. In the end healthy baby and healthy mom are the only important things. I also never felt like my milk really came in, at least not the way my friends had described it. Fed is best. This is very similar to my own experience though I was fortunate in having a great GP and health visitor. At our 2 week appointment we were sent to the hospital because of such a loss in weight. Michelle Roth, BA, IBCLC is a writer, editor, and board-certified lactation consultant for two busy pediatric practices. Thank you for sharing so other moms may see this. We figured out that yes, the lip tie was an issue, but my milk has very little fat in it, so even if shes frequently filling her little tummy, its like she had broth instead of the whole stew! I tried lactation consultants and worked at it, but even after 6 weeks of doing everything they recommended, I was getting about an ounce for every hour of pumping and opted to stop and just continue with formula. The main difference was that the medical community was dead set on me doing everything to breast feed. I know she wasnt getting enough to eat and that was why she was so unhappy.